Tour de France Cyclist Collapses as Circulatory System Found to Lack Actual Blood

In the latest damaging development to tarnish the previously spotless reputation of international cycling, French rider Cyril Gautier fell from his bike in exhaustion earlier today during stage 19 of the Tour de France, and it was later revealed that, in alignment with the current wave of transhumanism sweeping the world of cycling, he had attempted to replace all of the blood in his body with a cocktail of performance-enhancing drugs.

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