Yet another relationship has ended in disaster for Matthew, a 14 day-old hurricane from the Caribbean, as he could do nothing but watch his destructive tendencies spiral out of control, blocking any chance he had of ever reigniting the romance he shared with a local Tropical Storm, Lisa. Continue reading “Hurricane Matthew Destroys Every Relationship He Touches”
Russian President Vladimir Putin is expected to use the Olympic closing ceremony today as a platform to demonstrate Russia’s continued status as a world superpower by revealing their most recent scientific endeavour. Russian scientists, as part of the Climate And Meteorology Programme (CAMP) in Moscow, have discovered a new method of weather control, a method which few outside the country have even considered, let alone had the resources to carry out: controlling the homosexual population.
Professor John Delingpole of the University of East Anglia, the Univeristy at the centre of the infamous Climategate, has finally admitted that man-made climate change is one massive hoax orchestrated by the entire global scientific community and that “rising sea levels, global temperature rising, warming oceans, shrinking ice sheets, declining Arctic sea ice, the retreat of glaciers, increase in the number of record temperatures and ocean acidification” which were all previous explained logically as a consequence of human activity increasing CO2 production are in fact “probably something else”.